Can we accept that our certainty about what is true today may change tomorrow? In fact, can we allow that we are changing and evolving on a continual basis, despite our best efforts to stay the same?
Years ago, when I read Caroline Myss’ book “Anatomy of the Spirit,” (published in 1996) her rules for living made a big impact. The first two rules are: “Make No Judgments” and “Have No Expectations.” At that time, I wondered if I could ever apply these rules in my life, and so began a personal experiment. I initiated an internal practice of noticing when I am making a judgment about anything, and then mentally examine my perceived judgment. I then attempt to disentangle the reasons why I’ve arrived at a judgmental conclusion. This practice has produced some helpful and healing perspectives. And, I recently applied it when I received an interesting reaction to my new book.
When a family friend read the book’s Preface which describes my personal journey, they reacted negatively, not wanting to believe that their idyllic perspective of my family life was different from the dysfunctional experiences I related.
The book’s title, “Not What We Appear to Be,” refers to the many layers of our reality, and this was so true about my family life. However. after reading the book’s Preface, and subsequent themes which offer new perspectives about the human experience, the friend prefers to believe that their own perspective is true, and refuses to consider that there may be other possibilities. They closed the door to engaging in any conversation.
Yes, I was disappointed, but I respect their desire to close the door on communication (no judgment) because I acknowledge that the book’s themes challenge conventional paradigms.
I accept that the topics in my book are more suited to an open-minded reader who is ready to consider new ideas which may challenge the safety and security of their personal reality. Note: I’m not saying that my friend’s beliefs are wrong, only that my book offers options for expansion of the adventurous mind.
For those who are not ready or interested in considering new paradigms, there is no judgment.
On the other hand, there is also the saying that “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
There is a paradigm which selects the truth from various perspectives and there are no actual right or wrong outcomes, only balance which occurs when individuals experience the cycles of life.